Building bridges to neighbourhood

In this presentation, Sarah Faulkner, Project Lead for the Neighbourhood Circles Project in Adelaide, makes the case that neighbourhood connection is one of our most powerful – and most overlooked – safeguards for people with disability.

Sarah addresses three questions:

• why neighbourhood belonging matters
• what prevents people with disability from connecting
• how families and supporters can become active bridge builders.

Sarah shows what’s possible when someone intentionally walks alongside a person and helps them get their foot in the door. She also shares a practical three-step framework for bridge builders.

About Sarah Faulkner

Sarah Faulkner is the Project Lead for the Neighbourhood Circles Project in Adelaide – an initiative that aims to make neighbourhoods more inclusive, welcoming, and accessible spaces of belonging. Before this role, Sarah worked as a Circles Facilitator with the Community Living Project, supporting individuals with disability and their families, friends and allies to build more valued social roles and freely given relationships in the community.

Sarah recently completed her PhD in Sociology and Human Geography at the University of South Australia.

 

Transcription

Please note that the transcript provided may contain occasional errors.

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Sarah Faulkner

So thank you very much. What I really like to talk about today is the first little bit is around why neighbourhood connection is a really important safeguard. A little bit around what gets us in the way, what stops people from connecting to their neighbourhood. And then most of time, I’m going to try to spend on how we can be bridges to neighbourhood connection, some practical steps or strategies around that.

The big thing that I want you to think about in your head while we talk today is it’s “people knowing him that helps to keep him safe”.

This was a quote I heard from a parent many years ago. I think it was a Belonging Matters video and it really resonated. It’s this idea around informal networks being our safeguard. So I’m not talking about paid supports. I’m talking about informal, freely given relationships being around people.

And this project started back in 2020 with the story of Anne-Marie Smith in Adelaide, and also during COVID time, when people found themselves increasingly isolated and finding out that actually paid supports weren’t the answer to life’s problems.

But at the same time, people in neighbourhoods started banding together and supporting each other. And so this really interesting thing that happened where people started looking to neighbours and doing acts of kindness to one another, more so than they had done many years before. So we started this project looking at why are more people not connected to the neighbourhoods, particularly people who live with a disability. We also looked at people who identify as living with a mental illness as well, because they were increasingly isolated during COVID. And what we found was there’s lots of reasons why, but this shouldn’t stop us from connecting.

When I talk about neighbourhoods, I want to define it.

Neighbourhoods are spaces and places that you can easily get to by walking, riding your bike, taking a bus or driving a short distance. So neighbourhoods include your immediate neighbours, but also places that are close and easy to get to. A neighbourhood can include your local suburb, city council or community.

So everyone’s neighbourhood looks really different. I live in the bottom of a gully. My neighbours, I can walk to kind of the first two neighbours’ homes, but then in order to kind of go up, it’s the second steepest road in Adelaide. So cyclists love to shoot down and ride back up, but it’s not a place I can easily kind of walk around my local neighbourhood. So my local community is very connected, even though we’re kind of geographically spread apart. I still know everyone who lives in that local community, even though we look a bit different. So just thinking about that.

Also, the further you go, the less likely it can be easy to get to. So we want people to think about easy, short, maybe a short two-minute drive or one quick bus stop, or you can ride that on your bike.

So think about close is best is how we kind of think about neighbourhood where you live.

This was from an Imagine More conference a few years ago, John Armstrong said, “There is a greater chance to be protected if we have freely given relationships… friendships strengthen that protection”. And so these relationships are really fundamental, and it can be found closely in the neighbourhood.

This is a photo and it’s a story that I’m going to tell a bit more in detail a little bit later on, but it’s from a Christmas neighbourhood gathering and the woman that facilitated is actually presenting in another room at the moment, Helen Neale, and she went on a real journey with me in exploring neighbourhood connection for her family and for her son Tom. And this was a result of a Christmas party. Now, how behind that, I’m going to get to a bit later, but what it’s really done by her building this connection to the neighbourhood, it’s really strengthened Tom’s presence in his own neighbourhood, the relationships he has with his neighbours, as well as when he moved into his own home, the relationship he’s building with his neighbours in his new apartment.

Now there’s a lot of research out there. I’m not going to quote stats to you, don’t worry. But it has shown being connected to the neighbourhood to actually increase people’s sense of their actual safety and security.

This goes for actually a lot of people. Once you get to know your neighbours, even on just nodding “hello” terms, you feel a greater sense of safety being where you live. But it does actually, it has been shown to keep people safer. Neighbours knowing who neighbours are, if they see the blinds going up and down, has shown to be a really critical safeguard.

It has shown to create opportunities for increased social connections and relationships that lead to increased safeguarding. So the Royal Commission talked about informal networks being a really critical source for advocacy and actually a really paramount safeguard. It was a quote that they used. And so by being embedded in people’s communities and being embedded with your neighbours, it can build those relationships.

It creates great opportunities for valued roles, purpose, and sense of contribution. A couple of examples I’ll give shortly.

It has shown to strengthen knowledge sharing and networking opportunities. People call it “social capital building.” There’s something called weak social ties, which is saying hello, nodding relationships to neighbours, people that you might just be on smiling terms, but they’re actually shown to be really important to people’s sense of belonging and also who they know and they connect.

By the 50th time, they might say hello, they might actually get to know that person’s name or get chatting and discover they have a shared interest or something that they can look out for. But also really strong ties.

It’s shown to improve people’s mental health and well-being. The longest study done on human beings found that actually those who were embedded in the community had higher levels of life satisfaction at the end of their life than those who weren’t connected. That’s for everyone. It actually showed people… increases people’s life expectancy and longevity. The largest number of centenarians in the world; the top two reasons why they live the longest is social connection and social integration beyond anything else. And so it’s that social connection that we need fundamentally as human beings that keeps people living longer lives for a lot of reasons.

McKnight and Russell wrote a book called Asset-Based Community Development, but they actually said that by being in your community, everybody benefits. So increases the wealth, health, and power of neighbourhoods for everyone when people are connected. And it helps the good life to flourish, which is a term people like to use, but it’s been shown that.

I’m going to read this out too, because it’s a lot of words. This was Imagine More newsletter last year, and I had to put it up because it was such a good one and I saved it. But it said, “the simple act of showing kindness to our neighbours, sharing a friendly smile or wave, may one day lead to an exchange of greetings and names, a short and then longer conversation, a gift of fruit, eggs or flowers, even an enduring friendship. Neighbours can make life sweeter for everyone they know, even if they only know you as that person from number 63 who always says hello when we walk past. And they’re also a critical part of our security net by noticing when something isn’t right and then raising the alarm or lending a hand.

So if neighbours have the potential to increase community connections and provide safeguarding, our family members with disability can benefit by getting to know their neighbours and learning how to be good neighbours themselves.”

So it’s beyond just even knowing a neighbour, but even the person themselves also being a good neighbour and that contribution.

A little story about that around the safeguarding. This is something called the Pear Neighbourhood Node in Adelaide. It’s a little cafe that opened up. There was a man named Joost and his wife who had this little… one of those houses that have a little empty shop front in an old neighbourhood. And they found out that one of their neighbours who lived, an elderly man who lived with lots of chronic health conditions, had passed away two weeks before, and they didn’t know. And they said, how do we not know that a neighbour who lives so close to us had passed away? There’s something needs to be done about this.

So they actually called the neighbourhood together, and they invited people to ask to tell them what it is about the community that they would need. They said, “We’d love a place to go for coffee.”

So what they did was they turned their little shopfront into a coffee house, but they did more than that. They actually called it the Pear Neighbourhood Node. And what they did was they invited neighbours and anyone who’s there to come along to run workshops, to sell little things. They have a mug wall, so you can bring a regular mug and hang it up. This is a crafting group. I notice a lot of them don’t actually have cups of coffee on the table. You don’t actually have to come and buy anything. You can just sit and be part of your neighbourhood. The woman in the middle runs this group. The woman in the front actually runs a Tai Chi class.

So they invite neighbours to come and to contribute, but they also get to know people’s names and collect people’s phone numbers. So if they don’t see a regular person often enough, they’ll actually ring them up or people in the community, the cafe. And they’ve embedded this ethos in the space to say, everyone in here is in charge of inclusion. Inclusion is everyone’s responsibility. And so the idea is to look out for people. So Anna-May and there’s Tommy, the staff member there. Anna-May used to work in labour union development, but she really gets people and neighbourhood.

And they’re very intentional. It’s about neighbourhood, it’s about connection, it’s about looking out for each other. And they make sure that everybody does that. And they host all sorts of neighbourhood groups. But what it’s done is it’s actually shown a lot of people who’ve been in tough situations have been able to be recognised and seen.

I sometimes go, and I sit and I chat to people who come, and there’s one lady, she goes every day. Sometimes she gets a coffee, sometimes she doesn’t. But it’s around having a community of people to look out for them.

So this is also a young person I spoke to who was involved in my project. She said, “I wanted to get to know my neighbours and my community, and I needed that sense of security, because if my partner went to work, what happens if I fall or something falls over in the house and I can’t pick it up? Me and my partner needed that security of like, if something happened, who’s going to come help me?…

When I first moved in, I sent letters to all my neighbours, this is me… to say hello. I want to have that network and that sense of safety, and to relieve some pressure off my partner… then trying to build that community of looking out for.”

So for Britt, actually introducing herself to her neighbours was really important for her to have people to call on in case there was an issue.

This is a short little video, it’s about five minutes. This one put together three stories of neighbourhood connection in Adelaide and community connections. They’re just short little snippets, but I’m just going to pause talking, give you all a break for my voice for a second, and so you can listen to three people. And they’re basically talking about their contributions to community.

(VIDEO PLAYS)

Barry Sherwell – Founder of Ovingham Greening

Most people don’t know their neighbours. There were people who were living on this street for 15 or 20 years and didn’t know one of their neighbours, not one. We might have created a beautiful garden, but we’ve also created community, and that is really the story of the garden.

Sudhashree Somers – Young Citizen of the Year, City of Mitcham

Being involved with so many things and having this amazing community around me has helped me feel more confident in meeting new people. To walk into a new space and be like, ” Oh, that’s my neighbour from down the road.”

Hannah Beard – Childcare attendant and actress

Having friends really helped me gain my confidence, I guess. We might go for a swim together, we might go to the park together, it’s anything at any time.

Angie dal Santo – Organising Committee Member, Ovingham Greening

I wasn’t doing much a couple of years ago. My life’s really changed. Changed in a good way, yes. Getting out more and meeting new people.

Jody Moate – Friend and neighbour of Sudhashree

I think the best thing to bring people into community and to make them feel comfortable is to try and meet them where they’re at.

Sudhashree

My name is Sudhashree. I’m an artist. I’m a writer. I love all things creative. I’ve got a lot of volunteering positions. A couple of years ago, I was not in a good place. I was really lonely, and I didn’t really get out and see people a lot. My support coordinator suggested I attend this local art class. As the weeks progressed, I started to talk to people more and I started to make some friends. All it had to be was just someone paying attention that first day to help me feel welcomed.

Jody

I think it’s really important to provide opportunities to people to nurture skills that maybe they haven’t recognised in themselves that they’ve got. She helps me with the Little Library on Lloyd Street Book Club, where we will get together once a month and have a chat about a book that we’ve read.

Barry

Angie came along to the first working bee and didn’t stay long because she felt a bit too anxious about it, but she’s the one who forced herself to keep coming. She was the brave person in all of this. Over time, Angie has become a vital part of Ovingham Greening, as part of our community. She has blossomed herself, but she’s enabled other members of the group to blossom as well. She did a workshop on the painted rocks, which the kids then put out and hide in the garden and can swap and so forth. In her development of mosaic skills, she’s provided some mosaic watering dishes for the Native Bee Hotel. Her confidence has grown enormously.

Jackie Hayes – Hannah’s Mum

Hannah’s a real sort of natural connector of people. She has a big, vibrant personality. Like any typical teenager, she enjoys going out, meeting friends. She studied music, dance and drama. She did the documentary film. So it’s just wonderful that people have recognised those talents in her.

Hannah

It makes me feel like I want to take on something different, something new, and I’m not just wasting my time at home.

Jackie

It’s really important. that she is known in her community. For example, at the childcare, people knew Hannah when she was at the childcare as a baby, and now she works there.

Hannah

I’m really good at interacting with the kids. Going from school to work makes me feel I’m doing better in the world I am in.

Jackie

Just like anybody else, we all need friends and people that we can trust in our lives. So she still has some friends from primary school, and she got new friends as she went into high school.

Hannah

It makes me feel good. It makes me feel good about myself. I’m finally with people that want to get to know me.

Sudhashree

If I was to give people advice about connecting with people in their community, I would say give it a shot. The hardest part is getting started, and once you get past that, things can go in amazing, unexpected ways.

Jackie

It doesn’t need to be complicated. You probably don’t need to overthink it. Sometimes it’s the simple steps that are most effective, and to be thoughtful and kind in the way that you do that.

Barry

The thing that keeps people coming back most is if they can feel that they belong. Also giving people a specific role because having a role means that people are depending on you to do that. So you have something very purposeful to contribute. When someone feels valued, that’s it. That’s there in. They’ll keep coming, and they’ll grow, but so will the group.

Sudhashree

Being involved in all these different parts of my community, it makes me feel really like I belong in a way I never have probably in my life. When I’m just walking along the street, and someone recognises me, and we have a little chat, it’s just that nice feeling inside of… I belong, this is my place, these are my people, and I’m cared about.

(END VIDEO)

So, neighbourhoods are these wonderful places of inclusion and belonging, as we saw before. Some of the stories I’d like to elaborate on later, but there’s something that stops us from connecting.

This was a post I saw on social media a little while ago, and it raised a couple of questions and red flags. A parent was concerned about a sheltered workshop closing, and she said, ” He learns to belong to a community that values him in a safe environment, doesn’t worry if he goes to work, he’s going to be teased or bullied.” And a parent commented, ” It can’t be allowed to happen. I’d be terrified sending my child with an intellectual disability to a regular workplace.” So this is perceptions, the societal perception of that segregation is this, this is the only safe place, a community is this dangerous place that seems to sometimes get in the way. Some people with lived experience also mentioned that, you know, it might be tricky to connect. Finding a path for yourself can be difficult.

So, going on to that safety and fear aspect, this perception of fear that holds people back; this was really strong with a lot of people with lived experience. This fear of abuse, fear of rejection or previous experiences of it. This idea that community will reject and that the only place that’s safe is segregated.

And that’s not the case. We’ve actually found that the more people are embedded in community, the safer they are. And this safety and fear aspect does hold us, a lot of us back and holds people back. It’s also fear that if they don’t go, they don’t know the people that are there. They’re unfamiliar, it’s an unfamiliar environment, new people. It’s a time at night when they don’t feel safe travelling. There’s lots of things, but the safety and fear aspect is really strong. And why I want to raise on that is because this is why being a bridge is so important.

There’s also a really big barrier is social and paid supports. I mentioned social because informal, unpaid, freely given relationships can also be a bridge or a barrier to belonging if we’re holding ourselves back. So it’s a really critical role. One person mentioned the support worker probably just put the flyer in the bin. This was related to a neighbourhood barbecue that was being hosted. So they really rely on support workers to also support them to connect to community, and if they don’t have that support, then that can act as a real barrier.

There’s accessibility and transport. We have physical accessibility, but we also have other things around access. So sometimes the social perceptions that keep us back. Transport, if it’s too far, that’s why being as close as you can to where you live is best, because you can kind of reduce as many of those transport barriers. Access cabs, inaccessible buses. I was with a gentleman one time, and he and I were waiting on a bus stop. We must have had four buses pass that couldn’t take him on because it wasn’t accessible. They’re still on the roads and still around. So these are some real issues.

And access to information. Some people don’t use computers. They don’t have the… they need things in Easy Read. So if things are really complicated, the language was really tricky, sometimes access to information is really difficult.

“He 100% relies on others to share information with him.” So, how do we find out about things that are happening? A lot of it’s word of mouth, finding trusted sources. And if we don’t have that information, how are we going to know what’s happening?

A lot of times, people say, I didn’t know that was happening or how do you find out these things that are happening? And it can be really hard to connect if you don’t have those people supporting you to do so.

One man said, “A lot of people are very isolated, especially people dealing with mental health issues or some kind of life crisis. They very rarely get someone to speak to.” So he talked a bit about the barriers that he faces, and feeling isolated and lonely.

This is just a photo of an adaptive garden bed at a Brompton community garden that they’ve made to try to bridge some of the accessibility gaps in that garden. It actually took someone being a chair of that committee to start thinking about accessibility and thinking about how can we make this place more accessible for everyone, not just the chair of our committee.

I’m going to read this really quickly. So this is really on how we overcome some of these concerns and barriers. “Concerns are sometimes raised by the dangers present in the community, especially for people who have a higher degree of vulnerability. But the risk of marginalisation and isolation are far worse. Being known and valued by your local neighbourhood is some of life’s most protective safeguards. By this we mean people who invite you over for a cup of tea, check your mail when you’re away, or notice when we don’t turn up for regular engagement.

It’s also important to be reciprocal with these things. Be a good neighbour. Invite people over for a cup of coffee. Sorry. And cup of tea and keep an eye for those around you. For a person with disability, some assistance in doing this may be required, but when supported well, the benefits of being an active member of the community will still be there for them.”

We have the benefits of neighbourhood. We have what holds us back.

This is why we need to think about this role of having bridges and how to be bridges.

So Sam runs a wonderful organisation called The Growing Space in Adelaide, and they put this post up a couple of years ago around support workers being bridges.

So, “I’m dreaming of the day I see an ad for a support worker or service provider with the tagline, “We’re a worker, not your paid friend, and we work to help you make real friends.”

Reviews showcase success stories like, “I’m now membership officer of my local beekeeping society thanks to my worker’s help.” Another review, “Met my fiancé at a pub choir, all thanks to my worker’s support.” And maybe, “I’m hosting a neighbourhood barbecue with new friends from my street thanks to my worker’s assistance.”

So that to me, when I read that, is highlighting the importance of support workers being bridges to neighbourhood, being bridges to connection. Janet Klees said, “You have a responsibility to be the bridge to the relationship and not the relationship itself”. So these people, these are really powerful statements around the importance of recognising people’s roles as bridges to community and to connection.

So you saw the story about Angie and Barry before, and Angie’s contributions. What you didn’t know is that in Angie going to the first working bee, was a neighbour she had known for about 25 years. So Barry and Angie met, and they started chatting at the first working bee, and she lasted five minutes, she said, she said it was really overwhelming. She lives with pretty significant social anxiety. And she said to Barry, ” This is nice, but I can’t do this.” And he said, ” Well, how about you and me catch up sometime and we do some planting one-on-one together?”

So what happened between this, the first working bee and the next one, was that Barry and Angie got to know each other at individual level. Barry and her would meet up, and they started planting some some hardenbergia and started chatting, and they built a relationship. In this case, Barry acted as that bridge to the neighbourhood, that one person willing to get to know them, build that social connection, take the time to get to know her. And then by the time their one-year anniversary had came around, Angie had COVID so she couldn’t go. And she said she was standing at the end of her driveway with FOMO, crying because she couldn’t attend their local barbecue and their event. So she went from someone who could barely be there for the first five minutes to being an embedded part of that community.

She now actually runs mosaic workshops for other community gardens. She’s a part of the organising committee. She’s a really involved member of it. But it kind of took that one person, that bridge, to kind of help walk alongside her on that. And a lot of the time, that’s what’s needed to support somebody to connect.

So I have a little bit of a workbook, a guidebook and a workbook that I have created. And I think everyone should have access to it here. But there’s a guidebook that talks a bit about what I spoke about before, about the benefits and what gets in the way and why bridges are so important. The workbook, which people can go through in greater detail, is the steps. There’s three steps that we kind of suggest that people take. If you’re a bridge builder with a person, this is walking alongside someone to support them to connect to neighbourhood. And then there’s the neighbourhood mapping, exploring what is in our communities, and then a few suggestions on how we might do that.

So the other important bits. So just a little bit on step one, the importance of knowing who the person is. Ruby said, ” It’s important to get to know me, to get to know my disability and that things are hard, but that I want to learn things. I want to learn to travel and to cook, and you need to trust who I am.”

And Janet Klees, she talked about, “Not starting with difficulties or what gets in the way, but who people are, what makes them shine.” So park a lot of the things that are holding you back, and think about who that person is first. And that’s what the first step is all about. And it’s getting the support teams and the people around them to know who that person is, what are their skills, their strengths, their contributions, what do they want to bring to the community, what relationships in their life that they might want to strengthen.

And then when you start with who the person is, then it helps you figure out what is out there. So the second step, these are just six examples. So when you’re trying to figure out what ways can we connect in the neighbourhood, there’s six different things that I kind of found.

The first is acts of kindness. So it doesn’t have to be big. Relationships between neighbours, friends, and allies. People who you might want to get to know better. So maybe it’s bringing the neighbour’s bin in or leaving some flowers out that you might be growing or some fruit. It could be little things that people do. So at Christmas time, baking cookies and dropping it off at a neighbour’s house with a little note saying from your neighbour at number 12 with a name.

There’s also lots of what’s called the social business enterprises. So the Pear Neighbourhood Node, which I mentioned before, little community cafes or places that have a real social ethos about them. You might find those around your neighbourhood.

There could be neighbourhood associations and groups. Some communities have their own neighbourhood association. I’m guilty of being secretary of the Cherryville Association, and I write the Cherryvillian every three months. No pun intended. There’s lots of community associations and groups people can be involved in.

Things based on people’s interests that are found in your local neighbourhood. Church groups, art clubs, sporting clubs. A lot of things around projects. Canberra is really well known for all of its native parks and gardens. There’s so many friends of biodiversity groups, community gardens, food swaps. There is a countless number. So if you’re actually really interested in plants, you’re in a pretty good place.

And things around postcodes, so street parties, little libraries and dog parks. So these are all just examples of things that you can find in your own neighbourhood.

Miriam is a parent, and her daughter Rachel has become really connected to her neighbours, but it’s through her putting herself out there to let her know that she wanted to build a relationship with her neighbours, so that relationship started. Neighbours actually came and introduced themselves and said, ” You know, I’ve always wanted a reason to step up and to get to know you. And I just didn’t want to, I just felt a bit weird,” but they were given an opening. And so sometimes people need that opening to come forward.

So you can search online; there’s lots of examples, and I give them in those workbooks as well. Facebook, volunteering ACT or volunteering SANT, local websites. You can google based on interest. You go and search. One parent asked, ” Is there a repository of things happening in neighbourhood that I can just look up?” And I said, “Well, there’s lots of places you could look, but you really need to think about who the person is first, so that before you know what you’re searching. What are you searching for, and what do you want to do? And what connections do you want to build?”

But going for a walk around your neighbourhood is really important. The physical setting, where people live, scouting for things. These are just a few examples of some places where I’ve looked.

Community centres, library notice boards, shopping centres, dog parks even, local streets, neighbours, houses. I go for a walk around. So I went for a walk around a few neighbourhoods.

I used to pull over to a lot of Grow Free carts and a lot of little libraries and knock on those people’s doors and ask them why they did it. And 99% of the time, those people are extremely neighbourhood community-minded.

So if you have one of those people living on your street and you want to connect to, those are the first houses that you should look at and knock on and introduce yourself because chances are they’re embedded and there’s lots of information about community, or they know what’s happening.

There might be a newsletter that pops in people’s letterbox. Don’t throw that out, but really look at that. Really see if there’s an opportunity there.

At a community garden, I saw that they had positions vacant: plot holder rep, events coordinator, secretary, social media manager, lots of roles at a community garden.

There’s sometimes stalls. Imagine Uraidla Neighbourhood Association in the Adelaide Hills. They have a stall. They want people to come up, say hi and engage. And they have lots of different ways people can take roles in their neighbourhood, local community.

And sometimes it might even just be a little sign-up. This was outside of a shopping centre, and it asked about a coffee and chat. And they gave a date and time and just asked, you know, “Do you want to meet people who new to your area? Are you struggling to meet people new in your area? Everyone is welcome in a safe and supportive environment, with or without children, to see friendships flourish and just come for coffee and chat.” So you’d be surprised what you see once you look.

So when you’re doing the neighbourhood bridging or the exploring, there’s some things to think about. So something called ‘bumping places’. So when you… ‘bumping places’ are where you might bump into somebody. The more bumps they say, the greater the bonds.

So, bumping places are things like bus stops even, post offices. If you all have the shared post box in an apartment building, it might be a great place to run into people. If you go to the same cafe at the same time, the same day, every week, regularly for a couple of years, chances are you might meet the same people. Or if you walk your dog the same time, the same day in your neighbourhood, you might meet people. If you’re in your front yard watering your plants the same time, you might run into people. So where are you going to be that other people might bump into you, you run into?

Don’t discount what’s called ‘nodding relationships’. That’s just the, “hello, hello neighbour. Hi.” Like the person you might see waving as they leave their work every day. Because those are actually really important to start building relationships from. Say hello. The only thing you do for the next two years is just say hello to one new neighbour on the street. And you’d be surprised where that can go. Maybe the 40th time you say hello, they’ll finally say hello back. And then eventually you get to know the names. You might run into the shops, and then you get chatting. You discover you both have a love of eggplant or something. You never know, but you have to start by having that openness of hello.

Think about… What roles, interests, or relationships do I want to explore, identify or strengthen? So it could just be that you want to become a better neighbour. That’s where it just starts. So by strengthening, okay, well, I want to be a better neighbour. How can I do that? What are some things, good neighbourly things people do? Offering to water plants, introduce yourself. Or it could be an interest or a role. But think about your local neighbourhood and how you can do that, and where to do it when you start doing this exploring.

And think about where do people who are interested in whatever it is meet, typically. So if I’m interested in being a beekeeper, where do beekeepers meet? Where do they community? Where are they embedded? Are they online? Where online are they? So think about the interest and the passion and what it is you want to explore when you’re exploring.

And then weak relationships make strong. So maybe there are some people that you’ve been saying hello to. You might know on a first-name basis. Maybe you want to take that next step and host a neighbour barbecue on your community garden or area. So it’s all about just kind of building those relationships.

Some don’ts… Don’t search for disability segregated programming. This isn’t what this is about. It’s about searching for things that are already existing in your neighbourhood. So what are things that people are interested in? What are your passions? So shared interests will take you on a much deeper, better path.

Look at neighbourhood mapping without any intention or goal or focus. So just like, I’m just going to throw, find out everything that’s out there, because you might be overwhelmed. I was very overwhelmed the first couple of months I was doing this, finding everything that existed. I couldn’t, there’s so much out there, and it was really hard to pinpoint what it was I was looking at. So kind of being intentional will help you.

Forgetting about the person’s strengths, interests, and skills will lead you astray. So keep that at the forefront of your mind. And starting with the what gets in the way. So remember, you have to think about what makes that person shine first.

Pigeonhole what’s possible based on current paid support hours. If you only have a support worker to say, I’m from 10 to 12 on a Friday, and you find out something really great’s happening from two to four on a Friday, say that’s not possible because our current hours are this. Like, is there flexibility there? So don’t discount that. We’ll keep it in the back of your mind. If it’s not possible right now, maybe it’s possible in a few months.

And forget the little big ways that people connect. So Janet Klees calls these ‘big little roles.’ Little ways people connect. And again, it could be those, those neighbourly relationships that you build and you strengthen. So don’t forget those.

A little story here. So Helen is, as I mentioned before, her and her son, Tom, have been working really hard on building his connections. But it started with Helen and I having a chat about the Neighbourhood Circles project. And she said, ” You know what, they built this new house and this new street. We don’t actually know our neighbours. I think it’s something we really should do for them to get to know us and get to know Tom.”

So it started by just putting the flyers in about the first 20 houses up and down the street. And it’s quite a big wide street. They’re not like right on top of each other, and they all have those fences, and you drive in, you lock the gate, and nobody kind of sees each other. But you put these flyers in just saying, come over for good old-fashioned neighbourliness. We’ll supply tea and coffee. Bring your mug, and we’ll have a chat.

And she said, “Worst-case scenario, people come for this hour… no one comes to this hour. And it’s just me sitting out having a coffee in my driveway. Well, whoop-de-doo, that’s fine.” But then what ended up happening was a lot of people from the neighbourhood showed up, and a lot of people said the same thing. And this happens a lot. “We were just waiting. I’m really glad you did this. I’ve been thinking of doing this for a really long time, but never did.” And so many people do that. We get caught up in a lot of our busy everyday, and we forget that it’s something that we actually really enjoy doing, and people will show.

And then what she actually offered everybody to kind of swap numbers, and then should we do this again? And they decided to do it again. So they started doing drive-by drinks. And then down the track, they actually started hosting Christmas parties and looking for community funding to host it.

And so when Tom started moving into his own apartment, they kept the same mentality of we have to help support Tom to get to know his neighbours because it was really helpful before. And so he hosted a morning tea, invited people for scones for the King’s Birthday. And all the neighbours came together, and they found that there’s actually a quiz night group that meet on Monday nights. And then there’s a strata committee that Tom could join. And eventually, he was tapped on the shoulder to come join the local gardening group because they found out he has a gardening company, and so now he does… he maintains the community garden in the area.

But a lot of beneficial things happen from them getting to know that connection to the neighbours in a really informal way. One elderly neighbour, when she fell, she came knocking on the door and asked for Tom because she knew he was really strong. And he was the person that they were seeking.

He was the person they were asking when they went away to water the plants. He was the person they were asking to bring in bins when he was away. So he was contributing back to his neighbours, and they were looking for that.

And so by opening yourself up and doing it in just an informal, casual way, lots of things can happen. So when doing it, a few things to think about when you’re doing this connecting is you think one thing at a time. So don’t rush it. It could be one little relationship you want to build stronger, but take the time to do it.

If you’re going to something new, a neighbourhood group, sometimes it helps the person, depending on who they are, for you or a trusted person to go and check out the vibe of the group. Maybe it’s a choir they want to check out, see how open and welcoming they are and just suss it out. So it could be doing a first visit, just checking the nature of it.

Make sure you consider the where, when and how. So a lot of you will know this, you know, what time, what time of day, if it’s going to be at night, closer is best. So if you want to try to avoid some really challenging logistical stuff, particularly with support workers and to keep it sustainable, keeping it close is a really good way of doing it.

Considering the big little roles, as I mentioned, and then dressing and acting the part. And this includes language. This isn’t just for the person going, but also whoever’s supporting them to go as the bridge builder.

So if somebody’s going to be joining a local beekeeping group and they are in the beekeeping garb, their support worker shouldn’t be wearing a lanyard and a badge in a polo and kind of just standing there to the side, not in beekeeping garb either. Like you both have to match what scenarios you’re going to. If it’s a community choir you’re going, you’re dressed like everybody else in the community choir.

It’s great to wear your trackie dacks and sneakers if you’re going to the gym. But maybe not if you’re going to your local church group, where it’s a bit more formal. So really matching that.

And how the person is spoken about in two when they’re in that environment, what roles are given, what their title is. That’s really important.

The frequency, regularity and routine is very important. So again, same time, same place, regularly and routinely, if people are to be missed. So someone’s going to be missed when they’re not there.

So, a little story: there’s a man from another community gardening group that I worked with. He suffers from depression. And he really identifies as suffering from depression, and he mentioned that he’s really in charge of his morning tea and coffee.

So every morning, on Wednesday morning or Friday morning, when they would have their morning tea before they would get into their gardening group, he was the first one that would show up, get the kettle and everything going, get the teas and cups out and everything, get the morning tea ready. And everyone would see him and say, ” We gotta get started.” And they would all rock up. He was like the beacon.

And then one day, he didn’t show up. So that was a concern. So, actually, a lot of the members ended up calling him up. Going by his house, checking in, finding out he was going through a mental health crisis. And he went to bed for a number of weeks. So they all took turns bringing him groceries, looking out for him and keeping tabs and keeping an eye on him. But if he hadn’t been coming with that regularity, with that role of being the morning tea person, he wouldn’t have been missed if he hadn’t shown. So we really need to kind of think about what makes somebody miss when they don’t show.

And giving time for relationships to grow. So on this, I want to give a bit more time. So, something called contact theory, it means that people in neighbourhood need a lot of time and a lot of exposure and lot of conversations with people they might not be familiar with, cultures they might not be familiar with, people with backgrounds they might not be familiar with, to develop trust in relationships.

So the longer you spend with somebody, the longer you get to know them, the more chance you are to understand them. And that’s really needed in a community. A guy did research to find out how many hours it takes us to make friends. And he found out, without controlling for any other barriers, anything else that gets in the way, it takes over 50 hours for someone to move from an acquaintance to a casual friend. Over 150 hours to become a friend. Over 200 hours spent with a person to become a good friend. And over 300 hours to become a best friend.

Now, if you think you’re going to an art group and you’re going once a week, 52 weeks of the year, probably closes during the holidays or different things like that, that’s over a year, maybe a year and a half for people to maybe move from being an acquaintance to a friend. So give time for those relationships to grow.

And what happens is actually the quality of the, what we everyday talk… what we talk about, the banter, the jokes, the things we share, the interests we have. That matters. So the more you have in common with someone, the less time it’ll take to get to know them, to build relationships. That’s why talking with someone’s strengths and their interests is so important because they have those shared bonds already. They have things to talk about. So that chance of relationships can be strengthened through that.

This is an amazing volunteer, Annette, with her guide dog, Maple, and she talks about all the ways that she’s contributed to community. She’s actually so busy. I think she’s in Oxford now doing a writing workshop. She lives with a vision impairment. But she’s busier than anyone I know, and she spends all of her time and she talks about the importance of feeling that sense of contribution and connection to her community.

This is another quick story of a man named Mike. So Mike actually lived here on the Community Living Project’s Facebook page. He was always seeking social connections as his brother. He’s an extrovert, always interested in what’s going around him. Now, Mike was a man who lives in a supported sheltered accommodation, lived in a group home environment for most of his adult life. They hired a support worker named Kelly. And Kelly actually said she took her role as a bridge builder to community seriously. She entered the space, saying she wanted to support Mike to connect to people. And he has this really great personality, really great way of bringing people in and he communicates in his own way.

So what they found was actually a local rock-and-roll dance group. And they would go, and they would both dress up in their rock and roll outfits, and they would become an active part of this dancing group. And now he’s a really active member, and people all know him and are getting to know him better.

And Kelly was matched very specifically for her outgoing personality to support Mike to connect, but she takes that role of being his bridge builder. So he’s actually invited some people from the rock and roll group, have caught up for coffees and they’re connected, but it’s those incremental ways of building relationships with people outside in our neighbourhoods and our communities.

But sometimes we need the support of that active bridge builder.

Our last story, you saw Sudhashree before on the video. So Sudashree identifies as living with autism, and she talked about a number of years ago going through a really struggling time. She did one thing. Her support coordinator suggested, “Why don’t you join this art group?  You’re interested in art, they all meet, they do art things.”

And it was one thing she joined. She went with her support worker because she needed that social support. And what she found, they were people of very similar interests. They all had passion for art, but also passion for all things nature and plants. Somebody pulled up a chair and said, let’s have a sit. And over time, after about two years, her support worker moved away. She started going on her own.

But what she developed was a social confidence and resilience by being part of this community of people. That when a neighbourhood hub opened up near her house, she walked in the door and introduced herself and said, “Hi, my name is Sudhashree. I really enjoy art and painting and drawing.” And at this point, it was the only thing that had been added to her life, but it really added other ways.

The art group introduced her to other artists. They went to art exhibits together. They did lots of things. So by the time she walked in that community centre, she felt like she had this community behind her. So now she actually runs multiple workshops at this neighbourhood centre, sewing and art classes. She won Young Citizen of the Year for her local suburb. She was hired to do some casual work with the city, and she’s really grown and blossomed. But it took kind of that one person saying, “Let’s connect you; let’s walk alongside you. So what do you need to support you to connect to your neighbourhood?”

She doesn’t drive, so everything she goes, she has to walk or ride her bike. So it has to be close and accessible. But the benefit of the Neighbourhood Hub is that she’s gotten to know everyone in her neighbourhood now. She goes, she runs into neighbours, she said it takes about 45 minutes to walk home from the neighbourhood centre sometimes because people stop and chat. But it’s given her a chance to really shine and all of her skills to be shown.

So that’s enough talking for me. If you want more information, there’s a website that has lots of resources and things on it. We have two reports. You can read different stories, lots of stories, and also the two free resources, the how-to guide and the workbook guidebook.

But that’s it for me. Thank you.